Me. At least after what I've been through.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
