I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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