Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
