i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
