And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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