Ambien. No doubt about it.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
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