idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
