I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
