the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
