Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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