So drunk its hurt
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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