I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
