i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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