I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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