i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
