But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
she pinky promised me she was 18
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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