so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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