What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
