she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
