So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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