You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
