I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
