Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
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