the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
