just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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