She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
