that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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