This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize