If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
