Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
