dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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