Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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