He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
