You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
