We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
