I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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