I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
