Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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