I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
