its not stalking. its research.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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