U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
its not stalking. its research.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
