I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
