I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
did you just send me my own nude
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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