I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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