can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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