and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I am mentally ready for anal.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
