You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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