It's like God shit irony all over that family
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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