I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
