If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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