what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
she pinky promised me she was 18
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Bring me that man meat
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
