so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
