If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
