well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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