I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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