I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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