Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
