how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
you had me at cake vodka
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
