Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
