Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i wish my penis had a tongue
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize