Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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