Will you blow on my dice?
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
