we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
