Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Just puked most of my soul out..
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
