i just wanna soil my oats bro
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
