Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
