I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize