God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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