dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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