there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
