And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
